This Unnatural Natural Feeling

Everybody has been in love at sometime or other in their life. Parents love their children, husbands love their wives, friends loving each, brother loving sister, dogs loving their owners, hell! people even fall in love with nature! 

In short, love is everywhere. 

But then why do we have these different categories of love? Romantic love, platonic love, puppy love, lustful love. Why do we need to compartmentalise this wonderful, singular feeling?! 

Love is not that flutter in your heart or butterflies in your stomach. Love is not only for the knight in shining armour fairytales tell you about. Love is not bumping into a stranger and looking into his eyes. Love is not candle light dinners and exotic vacations. Love is not the best sex you’ve ever had. Love is not just hugs and kisses. Love is not the crap that rom-coms feed you. Love is not just cupid’s arrows shot at two people.

It is the warmth you feel when you see them laugh. It is the incessant need to keep them happy. It is always wanting the best for them, even if it means you sacrificing. It is compromises. It is fighting battles and still coming out strong. It is forgiving. It is understanding. It is being patient. It is always being there for them. It is being selfless. It is difficult, but wanting to never let go. It is simply putting them before you. It is unconditional. 

Love is the same feeling, no matter who it is for. 

Then why do we have different “kinds” of love for our parents, siblings, friends or lovers? Why do we feel incomplete without “being in love”? Why do we feel the need to “fall in love”? To find our soulmate? Can we not find a partner in a friend? In a brother? Or even live with your mother, taking care of her as she ages? So what if you want to spend your life travelling the world in a food truck selling shawarmas with your best friend?
Why is the idea of being “single” so shunned upon? 

The answer is brutal but simple. Evolution. Reproduction. 

In the end, we are mammals that need to breed. We find lovers so that we can produce the next generation of human beings. Lesson number one of evolution. The lust in us confuses it with love but we fail to realise that the feeling amounts to so much more. 

Should we let this purely biological phenomenon make us unhappy? Should we moan about never being “in love”? No, we shouldn’t because we have so many other wonderful people in our lives who love us and whom we love. 

So why search any further? 

The next time you feel lost or lonely about not having someone to 'fall in love' with, remember that love can be from anywhere, but it will always impart the same happiness. 

Think about the last time a friend told you they love you with all their heart. 

Think about the time you curled into a ball and cried and your mother held you close. 

Think about the friend who pulled an all nighter with you to battle the last minute essay. 

Think about the time you insulted your father but he still kissed you goodnight. 

Think about the time your brother chose to stay in with you instead of football with friends.

Think about the friend who walked miles to get you your favourite cake. 

Think about the family that made cards to welcome you home from uni. 

Think about the friend who spent hours listening to you rant about your last heartbreak. 

Think about the last time your parents panicked when you were lost in a new city.  

Think about the friend who bought you a gift with his lunch money. 

Think about the last time each one of them fulfilled the promise to keep you happy. 

Think about their love for you. They might not say it all the time, but it is concealed in every little thing they do for you. You do not need “the one” to make you happy, your lover is just one another among the people who define love for you. 

Ultimately in life, you do not have just one soulmate, you have soulmates.